Day 4: Quarantine

Honestly, folks…I’m way too sick and exhausted to write anything, tonight. I spent all day in my bed and drinking fluids but I’m still exhausted…but I made a commitment that I’d write an entry every day. 

Random thoughts: Our insecurities, our “baggage” and our flawed ways make us beautiful. I’ve always been able to see the beauty in other people’s “imperfections”, but always struggled in seeing the beauty in my own. I always believed that my imperfections and flaws push people away from me.

I once had a guy break up with me and one of his reasons resting in the fact that my “testimony is too intimidating”. Right. What am I to think of that? Is it my fault I’ve been through all of the things I’ve been through? If anything, why don’t my battle scars make me a much more beautiful person?

I struggled with this for a while. So, I believed that I was always, “too much” for people. Of course I have the few around me who know my story and can see where I am, now and can celebrate with me for the deliverance, growth and survival from things in my past.

Let no one make you ashamed of your scars for there is only beauty that blossoms on your skin. Your scars make up the person you are, today and there is no reason to be intimidated. 

If I can have a “girl” moment… I am excited for the man who won’t see my battle scars and struggles as intimidating, or as my weakness, but he will respect me for the strength I have pumping through my veins. He will not feel the need to “fix” me, for this would only overwhelm him and bring about frustration as he “plays God”. Instead he will be willing to stand beside me, be patient with me as God works on those things and places that only He can “fix”. I never look towards a man to fix me, just to accept me for all the ugly places, as well as the beautiful.

I don’t know, guys. I”m trying to remain hopeful, but this “intimidation” thing is something I’ll never understand.

Remember, there is BEAUTY in your scars.

Be patient with every part of yourself.

Love every part of yourself.

Philippians 1:6

New Century Version (NCV)

6 God began doing a good work in you, and I am sure he will continue it until it is finished when Jesus Christ comes again.